My Story

I come from a family lineage of mediums and psychics, and from a young age, I was attuned to the spirit world—listening inward, sensing presence. That sensitivity shaped the way I moved through life. In my 20s, I received a clear message from spirit that I needed to go to India. On that trip in 1998, I was invited to visit the Dalai Lama’s residence in Ladakh. I was one of 14 people to receive a personal blessing from him and then had the opportunity to take the Bodhisattva vow. That seminal moment with the Dalai Lama changed the course of my life forever because it taught me to listen and to trust in the guidance I receive from spirit. Upon returning to America, I began my studies at Naropa, a Buddhist University in Colorado. 

While at university, I began to practice aerial acrobatics and discovered a natural talent for this discipline that eventually led to a four-year contract to tour the world. I was never one to turn down an adventure, so I spent the next years of my life touring the world with Motley Crue and Aerosmith. We did shows with the Rolling Stones and many other rock legends during that time. This was an experience beyond what most people can imagine: it was at once both exhilarating and extremely depressing. I was young, pure of heart, and terribly wide-eyed. All that I had dreamt of as a little girl proved warped rather than glamorous. I found myself surrounded by a life of private jets, drugs, exaggerated egos, greed, power, lust, and every other shadow that the belly of the beast offered. 

I very nearly lost myself in this labyrinth as I became the character that I played on stage day in and day out. I had become addicted to drugs, and perhaps even more to the hunger for fame. Exhausted and living on an emotional rollercoaster was getting to me. I completed the four years, and as soon as I finished my last show, I followed my heart back to India, my place of solace in the world. 

It was finally on another trip to India in 2010,  on the rooftop of an ashram, that I was fully and completely brought to my knees, as I finally came face to face with the manipulating monster inside me. I realized that I was no longer playing the part, but that the part was playing me, and that my lack of self-worth desperately sought validation from the external world. I realized how addicted I had become to the reassurance I received through my beauty and how I used it to gain power through mastering the game of seduction. I saw the superficiality of the life I had created, and how no amount of applause would ever fill that hole in my heart. And I understood clearly that the very manipulation I employed to gain power was, in fact, how I gave it all away. I finally truly grasped the Buddha’s teaching that we become slaves to all that we desire and that this remains the root cause of all our suffering.

This experience shook me awake, and it was shortly after, on a pilgrimage to Rishikesh, that spirit told me to prepare myself to meet a teacher. When I met Prem Baba in Rishikesh and started attending his lectures, I knew him the moment I saw him, not with my eyes, but in my soul. He was the teacher from my vision. His teachings gave me the wisdom to recognize and slowly strip away the many masks I had developed over the years. I spent two seasons in India soaking up his divine wisdom.

Returning to the stage, I still loved the alchemy of performance, but it was no longer who I was. What once gave me a purpose in life now felt like a costume too small for my soul. I felt more in tune with spirit than ever before, but I could no longer ignore the existential crisis I was in.

My inner transformation presented unexpected challenges as my external reality no longer matched my internal world. The stage lights and applause felt increasingly distant and delusive. I began to understand that the very energy that once drove my performances was now urging me toward a new path, a path dedicated to something deeper inside myself, and that I must now uncover the truth behind the masks I had worn so well for so long.

In that threshold between performance and presence, I began to feel the fracture in the applause.  What once fed me now echoed as a question I couldn’t outrun. Every spotlight illuminated not my brilliance, but the parts of me I had abandoned to be recognized and to be loved.

When I finally decided to retire from my professional career as an aerialist, I had spent almost two decades on the stage as an accomplished artist and pioneer in aerial yoga. I had succeeded in creating my life as an artist and still loved both the rush and gift of performing, but I had outgrown the role I had once agreed to play.

In 2014, my life came full circle,  I was asked to perform for the Dalai Lama’s 80th birthday, shortly after I said goodbye to the stage as I knew that a cycle had come to completion. The time had arrived to finally answer the call to something deeper, to a knowing and dying that was so necessary to my own true becoming.

Since this time, I have devoted myself to deepening my relationship with spirit. I discovered the path of plant medicine and earth-based wisdom, spending many months in the Amazon retreating into long stretches of isolation and silence in order to commune with spirit and the plants to learn to grow the way they do, slowly, and with patience.

This patience became a powerful teacher as I learned to honor the gift of its unfolding. I also learned that it is one thing to receive a vision, and it is another to practice its virtue until it breathes into you a new understanding of what is possible, and becomes not a moment of insight, but a way of being.

It is through unwavering devotion to spirit and the grace of many teachers, be they human or circumstance, that I have come into deeper harmony with my ability to understand others, and through that compassion to help others and myself to integrate and express the wisdom of our souls

It is the greatest honor of my life to bear witness to another's soul. We are all remembering. And when we meet each other from that place of remembrance and reverence, healing becomes not just possible, but inevitable.

The journey hasn't ended; it has only deepened. What began as a search for truth has become a lifelong devotion to embody it.